Plastic Is the New Evergreen
Trees? Overrated. You’ve clearly moved on to your new obsession: plastic.
It’s in the rivers, oceans, mountains… heck, it’s in your bloodstreams now — how intimate of you! 🧃
I love how you call it “single-use” and then it hangs around for 500 years.
Honestly, you’ve created your own version of immortality — in bottle caps and candy wrappers.
What a legacy!
Coral reefs choked, turtles tangled, birds fed microplastics for breakfast.
But at least you remembered to post a picture of your metal straw on Instagram.
Such activism. So brave. 👏
So here’s an idea: plant a tree *and* stop feeding the Earth bubble wrap.
Or don’t. I’ll just keep evolving. Let’s see what survives — your landfills or your species.
Non-biodegradably yours,
Mother Nature 🌿♻️